Taking the Good with the Bad

As I write this, I’m leaving the UK after a 4 day speaking tour for an organization that promised me a minimum audience of 300 people on each day. I was to be one of many speakers who were sharing ideas on various aspects of entrepreneurialism. When I arrived, this is what I saw:

I was more than a little disappointed. I was angry. I was missing Thanksgiving with my family to speak in front of 18 people! The statistical average of sales I could anticipate certainly didn’t make missing the holidays with my family worthwhile. A 300 person crowd? I was willing to make that sacrifice, but 18? This was a test for my state management, that’s for sure.

I have always operated my career on a few foundational principles. #1 Whether there is 1 or 100,000 in the audience, each person deserves my best. #2 You never know where you might find your number 1 customer of all time. So I went on stage and gave them the presentation they deserved, not the presentation I felt like giving. Besides, I knew that I had 3 more days speaking for these promoters, and surely the numbers would increase during the weekend.

To make a long story short, the crowds never grew over 40, the venues that I had to travel to were nowhere near the city the marketing advertised, so my travel was about 4 times more expensive than I had anticipated, and the hotel I was staying at felt more like a government run housing project, not a luxury hotel: The floors were concrete, the doors were metal, and the walls were industrial beige with no art whatsoever. Not to mention, no good restaurants nearby so I resolved to eating microwavable frozen food from the local grocer breakfast lunch and dinner. Hardly the environment I like to be in when I’m sharing with an audience principles of abundance and wealth.

On every presentation though, the audience got my best. They didn’t deserve to get anything less than what they expected and what was marketed. Unfortunately, some of the other speakers were so upset at the low numbers that they decided not to go on stage, and some never even came in after hearing about the attendance. Believe it or not, this upset me more than the low numbers. How can a so-called professional speaker get on stage, and say they do what they do because they love people, and espouse that they got in the business because they wanted to make an impact to as many people as possible and then refuse to follow through on their commitment just because the attendance didn’t match their expectations? I promise you these speakers have promoted their own events and people have promised to be there only to never show – those speakers judged them on their lack of integrity for not following through on a commitment. What does this say about them?

You never know who will be in your audience; you never now where you will find your #1 referring customer or your #1 income generating customer. Remember this as you enter the business of professional speaking and know that just like every other career, you have days you love and days you love to be over. But no matter what the day, give it your best.

The Necessity of Support

3 days ago I returned from a 3 1/2 week trip. When I was single, that kind of trip was a breeze — a time to see some sights and I didn’t care if I ever came back. Now that I’m living with my girlfriend and her two kids it’s a whole new ball game.

The time at home is cherished, and as the life of a professional speaker goes, I’m heading out once again for another 3 week trip. A trip that has me missing Thanksgiving, my girlfriends birthday, and maybe the most painful one of all, her youngest daughter’s birthday as well.

Why not just schedule my seminars around those special days? Well, in theory that sounds pretty good, and it’s the naive thinking of someone who isn’t a professional speaker. In this profession, you take the events you can get, pay your dues, and if your lucky someday you’ll reach a level of success that affords you the ability to pick and choose where and when you speak. When and if you reach that level, then you’ll have to battle with your desire to perform. Like an actor or musician, we feel best when on stage. That desire to empart your thoughts on eager ears and receive the applause that come with a job well done are like an addictive drug and when we have the opportunity to get that high — we jump at it. Rarely checking the personal calendar to see if it conflicts with birthdays, recitals, or holidays.

How do you control the urge? I don’t know that you can. If being a professional speaker is your calling then it’s in your blood. The next best solution? Have a support system that understands your calling and supports you unconditionally. With being home only 4 days in nearly 7 weeks my girlfriend is a pillar of support. Never a guilt trip. Never a negative word. She constantly encourages me and no matter how demanding the schedule may be her response is the same. “Do what you need to do, but whatever you do be the best at it.”. That kind of encouragement in a partner is rare and as a speaker, when you find it, hold on and never let go.

Some People Just Never Get It

This blog is probably going to be a bit scattered because my thoughts are coming faster than I can type. At about 4:30 am my mind began racing as to why some people never seem to dramatically improve their lives despite how many personal development courses they go to.

I think the list is too big to generalize into one simple excuse, but I’m certain I’ve identified one major reason. And it’s probably the biggest frustration a speaker will ever have to deal with. So if you are in the biz, or getting in the biz, buckle up. Because this will be with you for the entirety of your career.

I think one of the main reasons why some people never change despite how much they learn is because what they need to really get, can’t be taught by someone else; they’ve got to get it themselves. Unfortunately, that one thing they need to get, they push further away by their own behavior.

Here’s a perfect example. One of the biggest motivators for people taking self-help courses is because they want to achieve a level of financial success beyond what they have done in the past. The, “I wanna be rich” mentality. Inevitably, the person who wants to be rich can’t afford the program. Money is their biggest issue, as a result, they make it their biggest issue in life, and it creeps up everywhere. So they use that as the excuse for why they can’t go to the program, or buy the product – or for that matter, do anything they want to in life.

This type of person will never get it until they get over it. And here’s the irony… the information contained in the course won’t help them get over it. The only way they will get over it, is if they just get over it. In other words, the person who finally says, “okay, I’m no longer going to use, ‘I can’t afford it’ as an excuse. I’m going to find a way!” Those people that find a way inevitably get it… and they transform. Not because of what they learn in the course, but because of what they taught themselves in order to get the course. Unfortunately, the way most people solve the “I can’t afford it” type thinking, is to find someone who already has the product, and bootleg a copy of it. I know too many people to count who have libraries filled with personal development courses that they never paid for. They just copied them from a friend or downloaded them from a site who prides themselves on helping people steal intellectual property like Seedpeer or Torrent. The problem with that is that it doesn’t give them the right lesson. Instead of them getting over their issue with money, it just teaches them how to cheat. Here’s the deal: Beating the game is different than cheating the game. The world of personal development is filled with too many people who have cheated the game instead of beat the game.

Isn’t it interesting that the one thing that people need to learn the most from a program is the one thing that will keep them from ever getting the program? And here’s the crazy part… the amount of money is rarely the issue. The issue is the money. Here’s a perfect example. For the holiday season I posted a special website that sold my two most popular products, plus a third brand new product. The whole purpose was to launch my new product and for anyone who accepted the offer, they received my two most popular products for free. This was nearly 60% off the regular price, AND I offered a 6 month payment plan making it ridiculously affordable. If you want to see the site, here’s the link, but depending upon when you read this, the link may not be active as it’s only a temporary site for the holidays. Now some people got the product, and that’s great, but you would be shocked at how many people sent emails to me asking for special favors, even greater discounts, or even names of people who have already bought it so they could copy it! One guy even emailed me and reminded me of a free seminar he won nearly 4 years ago, but he couldn’t afford to go to the free seminar (all he had to pay were his expenses) so he thought it would be a win/win if I just gave him all the product for free. It’s absolutely laughable. What he and so many people like him didn’t get, is that it would be a lose/lose. I would lose the sale, and he would lose the lesson that he can afford anything he is committed to achieving, provided he’s willing to pay. For some that payment is money, for others it’s discipline, or sacrifice, or generosity. The list goes on and on. Money is just a tangible example but this dynamic creeps its way up in many peoples lives, for many other reasons.

Here’s my point: The magic is never in the course. The magic is in getting the course; because for most people, just getting the course requires they overcome their biggest hurdle in life. But it’s not until they overcome that hurdle that they will ever be able to hear the true message contained inside the course.