The Necessity of Support

3 days ago I returned from a 3 1/2 week trip. When I was single, that kind of trip was a breeze — a time to see some sights and I didn’t care if I ever came back. Now that I’m living with my girlfriend and her two kids it’s a whole new ball game.

The time at home is cherished, and as the life of a professional speaker goes, I’m heading out once again for another 3 week trip. A trip that has me missing Thanksgiving, my girlfriends birthday, and maybe the most painful one of all, her youngest daughter’s birthday as well.

Why not just schedule my seminars around those special days? Well, in theory that sounds pretty good, and it’s the naive thinking of someone who isn’t a professional speaker. In this profession, you take the events you can get, pay your dues, and if your lucky someday you’ll reach a level of success that affords you the ability to pick and choose where and when you speak. When and if you reach that level, then you’ll have to battle with your desire to perform. Like an actor or musician, we feel best when on stage. That desire to empart your thoughts on eager ears and receive the applause that come with a job well done are like an addictive drug and when we have the opportunity to get that high — we jump at it. Rarely checking the personal calendar to see if it conflicts with birthdays, recitals, or holidays.

How do you control the urge? I don’t know that you can. If being a professional speaker is your calling then it’s in your blood. The next best solution? Have a support system that understands your calling and supports you unconditionally. With being home only 4 days in nearly 7 weeks my girlfriend is a pillar of support. Never a guilt trip. Never a negative word. She constantly encourages me and no matter how demanding the schedule may be her response is the same. “Do what you need to do, but whatever you do be the best at it.”. That kind of encouragement in a partner is rare and as a speaker, when you find it, hold on and never let go.